Maintaining Your Friendships After You Have Kids

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It’s natural for your relationships to change after you have kids - kids have to come first, and your routine changes. Unfortunately, your friends’ routines don’t, which can lead to strained relationships. But you don’t have to abandon everyone just because you’re at different points in your lives. Here are five tips that can help you maintain your friendships after you have kids.



If you’re going to keep your friendship alive, understand that you’ll both have to meet each other halfway. You may not want to hear about your friend’s dating life or what they’ve been watching on TV, and they may want to talk about something other than parenthood. If you’ve decided to spend time together, though, then you should pay attention and show an interest in each other’s lives.  


Don’t Feel Judged

It’s easy for both you and your friend to feel defensive after you’ve had kids. Such a life-changing event is bound to make both of you wonder if you can still relate to each other. This can sometimes lead to tension, but it’s important to remember that you both still want the best for each other, and that you’re probably not judging each other.    


Let Your Friend Babysit

You might not believe your friend when they say that they like spending time with your kids, but there’s no reason to distrust them. Next time they offer to babysit your kids, don’ assume that they’re just being polite - take them up on it. After all, there’s no better way to get your friends and kids to spend time with each other.   


Set Clear Boundaries

Sometimes it can be tricky to figure out how your friends and kids should interact with each other. Since you’re the parent, it’s up to you to set the boundaries. For example, let them know if you are or aren’t comfortable with them posting pictures on social media, and make sure your friend knows how they should treat your kid during a tantrum.


Wait For The Right Time

Despite your best efforts, you might not be able to see each other for a while. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about each other, but if you’re at two different points in your lives, then it’ll simply be harder to put each other first. And that’s OK! Even if you drift apart, you may be able to reconnect further down the line after you’ve adjusted to the changes in your lives and relationship.   


With some patience and understanding, your relationships with friends can still be fulfilling after kids. Have any other tips for staying close? Let us know in the comments below!

By Luke Smith

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